The following is a collection of real conversations had throughout the month of September.
Mom: Does my hair have a really bad ponytail line?
Katie: Yes, but mine always looks like that.
Mom: But we’re not wearing [choir] robes anymore.
Katie: So you can’t have a ponytail line?
Grandpa: We don’t have to eat lunch right now. Just sometime in the next 3 or 4 minutes.
Katie: Mom, no one calls them that.
Mom: They do in Texas!
Katie: We’re not in Texas!
Mom: I know but…
[Middle of an unrelated children's message]
Child: Are tigers dangerous?
Peder: I don’t know. I don’t have one.
Child: Why not?
Peder: Just haven’t gone to the pet store, I guess.
Kevin: I was close to you last weekend.
Katie: Really? Where were you?
Katie: I looked it up on the map. You go past Grandma and Grandpa’s and turn right. I don’t remember the name of the road but it’s before the ice cream place.
Mom: Is it new?
Katie: Um… the map didn’t tell me that.
Mom: What kind of map were you looking at?
Emily: That’s 900% probably my fault.
Grandpa: No, we didn’t like them, remember?
Katie: I knew we didn’t like them but maybe there was a point before that when we did like them.
Grandpa: No, I don’t remember ever liking anyone.
Allison: What do you do?
Katie: I’m a writer, editor, social media manager, Peder Eide stalker…
Peder: Pretty much. I’ve known Katie since she was a gypsy.
Katie: Gypsy? I was more of a cowgirl.
Peder: That’s what made it really awkward.
Mom: We fixed the smoking vacuum. Remember?
Katie: I did not help you fix a smoking vacuum. That I would remember.
Mom: Oh. It musta just been me then. Maybe the cats helped.
Steve: Stop texting us before 8am.
Mark: 8am? I’ve got three cars washed by then.
Mom: They’re not microwave safe.
Grandma: I put them in the microwave anyway. They just have that gold rim so they only spark a little.
Mom [to Dad]: If you buy underwear on Amazon while I’m gone, I’m gluing pink fringe with sequence to your new tv!
Emily: You really won’t be cold on World Race until you get home and it’s late November.
Katie: And you live in Wisconsin.
Emily: Yeah, have fun with that. I was cold in Louisiana.
Mom: I don’t want to use gmail. It looks stupid. AOL is just fine.
What are some of the funniest things you heard, said, or read in September?
What are you looking for?