The following is a collection of real quotes from throughout the month of November. Some of them I heard with my own ears and some were submitted to me upon request.
Masha: I’m gonna go eat. Cuz that’s what I do best.
Mom: Hey, Freddy.
Dad: Who’s calling me?
Mom: The only person here who calls you Freddy.
Katie: An ebook is just a glorified blog post.
Emily Freeman: Sometimes I write because I have something to say, and other times I write because I want to remember how to see.
Mom: You want me to record the Packer-Bear game?
Dad: No, it’s going to be ugly.
[After the game]
Mom: That’s not what I expected when you said it’d be ugly! You broke our quarterback!
Dad: That we did.
Christina: I took out all the semicolons and made them periods.
Laura: And the “ands”?
Katie: No “ands” and semicolons! That’s against the law!
Katie: Mom, I have a Skype call in 15 minutes so pretend you’re normal or stay out of my office
Ann Voskamp: Christmas is about God doing whatever it takes to get to us and us doing whatever it takes to get to Him.
Kevin: I hate having the house to myself. I want to be invaded.
Mom: You want the rest of this drink?
Katie: I can’t. I have to go back to work.
Mom: You edit better when you’ve been drinking.
Katie: Only for one client.
James Hansen: Obedience is just a tool God uses to build a habit in us. Building a habit allows us to work on mastering the mechanics while He takes over our hearts and turns that habit into a desire until it flows out of us naturally out of a love for Him and others not obedience.
Boppy: What kind of owl was it?
Amy: I don’t know. A whooty-whoot owl? I never saw it; I just heard it.
Dad: It sounded like a freight train so I stuck my head out the door to look.
Katie: A freight train? That’s a sign of a tornado.
Dad: I know, that’s why I stuck my head out to look.
Christine: 99% of being perceived as smart is just knowing where to look for the answer.
Katie: They’re in the same parking lot.
Mom: No, they’re not. They haven’t been in the same parking lot for seven years!
Katie: I haven’t lived here for seven years.
Anne Lamott: Perfectionism means that you try desperately not to leave so much mess to clean up. But clutter and mess show us that life is being lived.
Katie: I don’t think that’s what that Scripture really means. What’s the context?
Mom: It’s the last verse of the chapter so yeah.
Katie: Paul didn’t write in chapters…
[Mom read the next paragraph]
Mom: Jesus changed all that so never mind.
Katie: Mom, this is Paul… he wrote after Jesus.
Max Lucado: We dare to hang our hat and stake our hope on the gladdest news of all: if God permits the challenge, He will provide the grace to meet it.
Kent: Are you going to keep a blog while you’re gone?
Mara: I’m glad you didn’t lie and say you’ll read it.
Kent: I’ve been to your website once. You’re in the woods in your photos.
Mara: Wacky Wednesday?
Kent: What’s that?
Ashley: Don’t do it.
Andy: Do it! I didn’t hear what “it” is. I just heard her say not to so I know it’s awesome!
Mom: Mrs. Smith… No, Mrs. Johnson… I really should be able to tell those two ladies apart.
Katie: Yeah, especially since one of them is dead.
Jeff Goins: Don’t give up reading books before you give up Facebook.
Mom: It’s the Red Wings.
Katie: That’s fine. We’ll just cheer for the other team. Who are we cheering for?
Mom: No, wait that’s Boston. The Red Wings aren’t playing.
Katie: I’m still cheering for Carolina. The red guys.
Mom: Oh, there’s chili in the coffee pot.
What kind of crazy things have you heard over the last month?
What are you looking for?