Wacky Wednesday

From Katie: The first Wednesday of the month is Wacky Wednesday where we celebrate all of the ridiculous and ridiculously profound things heard in real conversation or found in books. Some names and other details have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent. <>< Katie

“God’s glory is what turns the pictures in our lives into beautiful works of art.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Jennifer: What if we [bla bla bla incomprehensible plan]?
Katie: Perfect.
Amy: Did you understand that?
Katie: Not a word.

Jennifer: For real, half of the stuff Katie blogs and Tweets is the stupid stuff I say.
Katie: Well, you say a lot of stupid stuff.

“Remember that after you’ve run awhile, the race begins to feel long. You pound the pavement, winded and weary, and can easily get discouraged or feel like dropping out before the finish… Staying in the race requires something more substantial than not quitting or wishing our needs were met. It takes something more gratifying than yearning for the goal. It takes a deep desire for God.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Sara: Why don’t we just drive to South Africa? Quicker!

Christina: Did we have company?
Dad: Yeah, last night. Why?
Christina: I can tell.
Dad: How?
Christina: The fridge is clean.

Alex: Guess what! I don’t have to go to work tomorrow!
Katie: Guess what! You don’t have a job!

“God usually doesn’t reveal what’s next, and we can’t begin to anticipate what the future holds.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Mom: Go right, Katie, go right!
Katie: I’m a writer.
Mom: That’s what I’m saying: go write!

Anna: I like my name. I wouldn’t change it. I can’t think of anything better.
Anna’s Mom: You’re welcome. [To Anna's dad] Someday she’ll change the part you gave her.

Katie: Jim, if I need to break a murderer from jail, can you help me?
Jim: Sure! What kind of jail is he in?
Katie: Whatever kind of jail we put him in.
Rebekah: Wait! What is this for?
Katie: I’m writing a story.

Amy: Katie, I’ve lived with you for two years. I’ve learned your lingo. Even if I don’t know what you’re talking about, I can still figure it out.

“She [Kahl] may not be right [about Galatians] but I suspect she’ll win the argument.” – Walter Brueggemann

Sara: OH MY GOSH! This sauce is disgusting! AHHH!!
[Ten minutes later]
Sara: Here’s some sauce for your fish. It’s good.
Garret: It looks like alfredo.
Sara: It’s for the fish.
Garret: And you liked it?
Sara: Yeah.
[He tried it]
Sara: You like it?
Garret: Not particularly.
Sara: NO! IT’S GROSS!! AHH!!
Garret: Wait, wait, then why’d you give it to me?
Sara: I wanted someone else to commiserate with.

“The hopelessness you’ll feel from giving up is far more debilitating than the fatigue you’ll feel from persevering.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Jennifer: What would I do without you?
Katie: Have a crappy PowerPoint about math.

Katie: I bought the Gungor CD, so you can’t burn it, but if you ever want to listen to it, it’s in my car.
Rebekah: I don’t even know what a Gungor is.
Katie: That’s the artist who sings “Beautiful Things.”
Rebekah: Oh. Now I know.

“When we step out [on faith], we find the treasures that God has reserved for those who lean completely on Him.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Paul: I’m so bad with passwords. Sometimes I can’t even get into my own house.

Jennifer: Ok, will you just give me a back massage before you get really crazy?
Ada: Double-double this-this, double-double that-that. [Awkward laughter]

Jim: What is this for? [Rolled up magazine]
Rebekah: I use that to beat Katie if she forgets to wash my dishes.
Katie: When I forget to wash her dishes, forget to do her laundry, forget to empty the litter box…
Jim: Let’s just go ahead and beat you because there’s no way you’re going to remember all of those things.

“Choose to rejoice in spite of our difficulty–suffering strengthens faith, joy showcases God’s power, and mourning ministers to others.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Dad: Katie, good news and bad news. Bad news: I’m still coming. Good news: you don’t have to pick me up at the airport at 1am.

Mom: I wanted to wear pink and orange, so I had some pink cellophane in the basement. I crumpled it up and stapled it to my– [She said "hat" but that wasn't what I was expecting].

“We can’t choose the feelings we experience but we can choose our response to them. Our feelings don’t have to dictate our choices.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Ada: What happened to you?
Jennifer: What do you mean?
Ada: Why are you like this?

“I believe God allows us to wander through deserts to test us. The wilderness shows who we are and whom we trust.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Katie: I wish we had bread.
Amy: We have marshmallows. That’s the same as bread.

“Scholars have been debating for years the name of the pharaoh. I don’t know. But if you’ve seen one pharaoh, you’ve seen them all.” – Walter Brueggemann

Jack: He’s playing the butt flute again.
Para: [Doubled over laughing] Stop making me laugh. I’m trying to watch the satellites.
Jack: You can’t see many in the grass.
New: At least he didn’t ask you to pull his finger.
Freddy: No. I pulled my own finger.
Para: It says in the Bible that if you have the faith of a mustard seed, you can say to that mountain, “Move!” and it will. There was no mention of farts.
Katie: Faith the size of a mustard seed not fart the size of a mustard tree.

Elizabeth: It was such an interactive movie crowd. I like those.
Meagan: This was the first time I’ve been so interactive. I felt obnoxious the whole time.
Sara: Amen!

“Sometimes God delivers us through the thorns rather than from them.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Keith: How am I going to remember 614? Ok, six minus one is four.

Rachel: There are a lot of crazy books out there. You could be one of them.
Trey: More would.
Rachel: Should.

The Mom: I’ve never been able to go to Pastor’s Conference, so this year I–
The Daughter: Invited herself–
The Dad: So we [dad and daughter] had a pastor’s conference conference and decided–
The Daughter: She could come on a probationary status.
The Mom: So I’m on my best behavior and maybe I’ll actually get invited next year.

Ada: Those flowers look aerodynamic! They’re changing colors. Don’t you see? They look like puffballs! Aren’t they magnificent?

“Many of us go through life resisting our circumstances because we operate under the mistaken notion that we are in charge.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Katie: Tick check tonight!
Mom: Snake check tonight!

Katie: Are you teaching the children to play with fire?
Connor [gradeschool]: No! This is serious business! It’s like bombs aren’t weapons; they’re toys.

Billy Bob: That sounds like a train.
John Boy: It is. They installed tracks last night.

“We should not thank God more fervently on the day our difficult gift is removed than we do on the days we carry it.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Katie: I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
Paul: Well, that’s at least entertaining for other people to watch.

Jennifer: If I die, life goes on.

Stephen: Dead people don’t wear hats!
Julie: That’s a cow, actually.

“These are his words not mine, ‘The shit of the earth.’ I know, that won’t preach. Well, in youth rallies it might. The problem is that at youth rallies, it’s not a new word.” – Walter Brueggemann

Dr. N: They have these… uh… uh… uh…
Katie: Paperweight?
Dr. N: God bless you! You can read minds!

Elizabeth: We should make Amy’s lingerie shower really scandalous. By then, I’ll be married so I’ll know what it’s like and by “it” I mean sex.
Amy: Katie’s doing mine!
Jennifer: What’s sex?
Allyson: Well, when two people, a boy and a girl, really love each other–
Katie: And get married!
Allyson: –they like to sleep together.
Jennifer: Oh, ok.
Allyson: And then things start working.

“God’s glory is what turns the pictures in our lives into beautiful works of art.” – Jennifer Rothschild

Katie: I know the word “Chevy” in Chinese.
Alex: I feel like that’s not useful at all.

Mom: Laundry is sorted by color NOT by where you wear it on your body.

Scott: We’re in the old section of the building.
William: Well, the air conditioning works in the old section, that’s for sure.
Scott: They’re trying to fix the thermostat.
William: Give me a hammer. I’ll fix it.

[Cooking]
Jennifer: I don’t know what to do.
Katie: Spray the pan–
Jennifer: I know what to do! [Pause] I can’t do what I wanted to do because I don’t have a paintbrush.

Aunt: This is paradise.
Katie: Cheeseburger anyone? [Awkward pause] Cheeseburger in paradise.
Mom: See, she makes references like that and we’re supposed to get it!

“[F]aith is not meant to offer an escape from life’s difficulties, its purpose is to give us strength in the midst of them. God allows hardships because of His great mercy and love for us, and He often removes them for the same reason.” – Jennifer Rothschild

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