From Katie: The following is a collection of real conversations that happened in the month of December. Some names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Amber Dobecka: Suffering allows us to experience true joy.
Kellie: Jack is the boy-band all wrapped in one.
Katie: I want to know how it all started. Who thought of a fat man coming down a chimney leaving his flying reindeer on the roof? Who decided he makes his all the way around the world in one night? Why do we gather around dead trees and eat candy out of socks?
Penny: It’s magic, Katie.
Katie: I know how it happens. I’m asking how it started.
Jett: I didn’t move my sled to Florida, eh?
Sara: I’m not wasting paper! I’m creating future toilet paper.
Brennan Manning: In essence, there is only one thing God asks of us–that we be men and women of prayer, people who live close to God, people for whom God is everything and for whom God is enough. That is the root of peace. We have that peace when the gracious God is all we seek. (The Ragamuffin Gospel, 46)
Katie: It’s not Christmas until there’s flour on the curtains.
Tim: What are curtains?
Katie: They’re kind of like mixing bowls.
Rebekah [age 24]: I don’t even know what a snow bank is.
David: That’s where you keep your money in the winter.
Kid [age 7]: Mom! Come help me! I can’t get the shirt off the hooker.
Katie: What kind of Lutheran church is it?
Gia: Um… small and old? What are you asking me?
Katie: What synod?
Gia: Oh, um… not Missouri. What’s the other one?
Jett [to the dog]: Don’t eat the plastic. Save that for the people.
Connor [age 9]: David, if I was a girl, I would so love you.
Rachel [David's fiance]: Oh, don’t worry, they do.
Rick Warren: Purpose always produces passion. Nothing energizes like a clear purpose. (Purpose Driven Life, 33)
Meagan: You didn’t pizza-cut the chipmunk, did you?
Mark Schultz: I was in Sheboygan, Wisconsin–
Mark: Woah. That wasn’t just one scream that was an overwhelming like half of the audience. You guys do realize the concert tonight’s in Charlotte, right?
Meagan: They told me I karate-chopped my way into their hearts.
David: Yeah, that’s kind of how it happened for me. More like steamrolled.
Church Announcement: You all will be people staying in the Bethlehem Inn.
Katie: But there was no room in the inn.
Bob: It’s because we’re in it. Now I feel bad!
Peder: Katie’s a big clogger.
[Doing my hair on Christmas Eve]
Laura: I’ll be right back. I have to go get the scissors.
Dad: It’s not your birthday.
Christina: It’s not yours either!
Dad: My half-birthday is closer–June 21-December 21.
Mom: Too bad your birthday is June 1. Our anniversary is June 21.
Rachel: I have a real, life-size flag in my classroom.
Nikki [Age 24]: Guys, I’m seriously considering changing my favorite color… to the fourth primary color that I hope is in the new eschaton.
Rachel: I have my support group here. Katie and Brett are here for cracks on Northerners and Garret’s here for cracks on homeschoolers.
Meagan: I was homeschooled too but I don’t always agree…
Rachel: Like I said, Garret’s here for my homeschool support group.
Rick Warren: Seeking a feeling, even the feeling of closeness to Christ, is not worship. (Purpose Driven Life, 109)
Katie: Only 99 of the 10.
Jackie: Only people who don’t know what fun is read.
Grandma: Hey! Old people don’t know what fun is?
Matt: There needs to be a No-Coworker Left Behind Act.
Stephen: Katie, how do you live for a week and pretend not to be sick?
Rebekah: Why are you asking Katie?
Stephen: Because she’s an internet blogger.
Laura: Don’t make me lick your tongue!
Meagan: Katie’s cheating! Northerner!
David: Meagan didn’t experience cheating in the public school system all her life. This is her first experience.
Mom: Why tell me if you can’t remember the whole story, Laura?
Katie: Utto! Nikki, your scrapbook page is upside down. [Brainstorming solutions]
Nikki [Laughing]: How fitting! Let’s just add an upside-down smiley face. It’s perfect!
Laura: Sometimes when I’m taking off make-up, I only take off half my face so I feel like Mulan.
Boris: I have to put my head back in the box.
Rachel: Who wants the corner?
Stephen: You made corn cake?
Para: Your nose is running in my lip.
Jackie: Some people are just born to suck at golf… or whatever sport this is.
Katie: I’m really good when I’m the only person playing ping-pong.
Nikki: I LOVE Twitter! I love getting to say sassy things and getting instant replies.
[He said something snotty]
Katie: Smack him.
Kellie: That’s too nice. I’ll use my elbow.
Brennan Manning: I am with you. I am for you. I am in you. I expect more failure from you than you expect from yourself. (The Ragamuffin Gospel, 174)
What are you looking for?